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Author Topic: Amusing descriptions on ebay etc.  (Read 433 times)
joia
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« on: August 15, 2008, 07:29:23 AM »
I have been laughing to myself ever since I saw the description of an item for sale on ebay saying that it contains 2 CARROTS of diamonds.
This made me think you all must have seen some funny ones so why donīt you tell us.
A neighbour of my grandmotherīs once told us that she had picked up a very good quality Rembrandt (remnant) in the city sales......
Now tell me yours.

Joia
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Awestruck
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« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2008, 07:35:09 AM »
Joia
This reminds me of a comedy Tv sketch made by British comedians, the two Ronnies. I`ve found the Youtube of it but haven`t a clue how to post a Youtube onto the forum Huh?
The fork handles sketch is a Uk classic.
Maybe Jen might know how to post it.
Lynne
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joia
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« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2008, 08:33:43 AM »
I am going straight to Youtube to look.  I love the two Ronnies.  I remember one of them spending a day at the beach which had me almost having a fit....

At a local market I saw someone selling cauliflowers as  "collies".

Joia
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joia
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« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2008, 08:42:43 AM »
Here it is so everyone can have a laugh.   Hilarious.

http://www.youtube.c.../watch?v=Cz2-ukrd2VQ

Joia
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Mrs Mitchell
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« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2008, 09:34:41 AM »
Ah, the fork handles! Very funny - classic British comedy.
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GIAGirl
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« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2008, 11:45:20 PM »
The only thing that I can think of off hand is when I was looking for a dressy purse and people kept saying that they had "sequences" on them...isn't it sequins?

2 FULL CARROTS??? 
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IhaveaDiamondproblem
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« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2008, 02:02:04 AM »
I can't think of any funny descriptions at the moment, but this seller has the funniest feedback comments I've ever seen! The guy is HILARIOUS!
http://feedback.ebay...eedbackLeftForOthers
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Mikla
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« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2008, 08:20:46 AM »
 goodpost
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joia
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« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2008, 09:42:59 AM »
Quote from: IhaveaDiamondproblem on August 17, 2008, 02:02:04 AM
I can't think of any funny descriptions at the moment, but this seller has the funniest feedback comments I've ever seen! The guy is HILARIOUS!
http://feedback.ebay...eedbackLeftForOthers


Speechless.  That person is a very funny crackpot.

    I once had feed back for something I bought and I got
"if this person was beer she would be a Carlsberg"....    Still trying to work it out but I think he meant I was "cool"....
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saqsay1
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« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2008, 09:50:39 PM »
that guys feedback is hilarious. boobban wav wav
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oldmancoyote
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« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2008, 12:54:14 PM »
Quote from: joia on August 17, 2008, 09:42:59 AM
    I once had feed back for something I bought and I got
"if this person was beer she would be a Carlsberg"....    Still trying to work it out but I think he meant I was "cool"....

Actually, I think he meant:

"The best [buyer/seller/ebayer] in the world. Probably"
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Mikla
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« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2008, 01:04:56 PM »
I always chuckle when ads are placed on eBay stating something like:

HUGE (insert some really small number here) CARAT STONE !  CHEAPEST !

Just because you call a .25 ct. stone "huge" does not make it so.  Also, why would anyone describe their gems as the "cheapest"?  icon_scratch Makes 'em sound substandard IMHO.  Call it "on sale" or "clearance" or "going out of business sale".  Is it just me?

Mikla
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oldmancoyote
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« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2008, 02:27:12 PM »
That depends on what you are shopping for. Some people seem to think that they'll get the biggest bang for their buck if it is cheap.

Another good one to add to the "carrot". What about "cutlet" for culet?
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Sanchica27
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« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2008, 02:32:19 PM »
hahahah omc i have seen that one as well!  love it!
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Trinkette
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« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2008, 02:32:38 PM »
Hahahahahahaha... rotflmao   OMC, I've seen the "cutlet" before.  Cracks me up every time!
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Diamondsbylauren
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« Reply #15 on: August 19, 2008, 02:36:21 PM »
HI All!
I'm actually in a little "war" with eBay lately ( talk about peeing against the wind....)

Anyway, my point of contention has to do with how many sellers are offering color treated stones with no declaration of such.
Many advertise "Natural" "Certified"- one joker even puts a line in saying that he's not sure if his blue diamonds are treated.


When you try to report this stuff, you are shoehorned into a few choices, none of which comes anywhere close to describing this problem.

In some ways these morons make us look better- but in other ways they tarnish the reputation of eBay, the internet, and diamond sellers in general.
A shame....
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Trinkette
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« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2008, 02:42:23 PM »
Yeah, you diamond hawkers are all the same...  Roll Eyes Sheesh!
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Awestruck
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« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2008, 03:14:31 PM »
I know what you mean David.
Once upon a time I browsed for sapphires and many vendors were advertising their stones as being natural and yes they were natural is so far as they were mined stones and not lab created but were omitting to mention the natural stones had been heat treated.
They sort of " bent " the truth. The stones are natural but have been enhanced so when the put the word natural in their ads, they technically aren`t lying. Only if you email them and specifically ask them do you sometimes get the whole truth ( only sometimes ! ) so I contacted Ebay and asked them could they not ensure that all vendors say if any stone has been treated in any way ? I`m still waiting for their answer ....
Lynne
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joia
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« Reply #18 on: August 19, 2008, 03:55:22 PM »
I have just remembered a special favourite of my seen at an Antiques Fair,
a "Mutilated quartz"  I felt really sorry for it.   Grin

Joia
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oldmancoyote
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« Reply #19 on: August 19, 2008, 03:57:38 PM »
laughing4 rotflmao

Quote from: oldmancoyote on August 19, 2008, 02:27:12 PM
Another good one to add to the "carrot". What about "cutlet" for culet?

Oh shoot. I've done it again. Lamb daube with carrots and prunes for dinner. No stones, guaranteed. Any takers?

 easterbunny
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saqsay1
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« Reply #20 on: August 19, 2008, 05:22:39 PM »
oh, i just saw a description of a "fancy yellow" diamond on ebay that had paper work calling it a Q-R color..... huh? since when is a Q-R "yellow" let alone fancy??
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saqsay1
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« Reply #21 on: August 19, 2008, 05:24:14 PM »
p.s. doesn't yellow start with S-T?
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Sanchica27
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« Reply #22 on: August 19, 2008, 10:12:00 PM »
i've seen some diamonds that are OP and in the right setting have looked yellow, very light yellow but yellow non-the less.  i owuldn't call them "fancy" though unless they were actually GIA graded as "fancy". 
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Mikla
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« Reply #23 on: August 23, 2008, 09:48:16 AM »
I just saw the worst ad on eBay for a diamond from India.  The diamond was obviously photo-shopped into all of the pictures and the edges look like they've been cut with a chain saw.  It's an awful-looking diamond to begin with; the cut on it is so bad I don't even know why the seller bothered to photo-shop that particular diamond into an ad in the first place.  As an L/N, it is supposedly "sunshine yellow".  In one picture where the diamond is purportedly being held between two fingers, it is done so badly that the diamond isn't even touching one of the fingers.  Apparently it is a "magic floating diamond" which can be photographed while it levitates mid-air.  I would post the link here for you all to enjoy, but I don't think I'm allowed to do that.

Mikla
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Mikla
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« Reply #24 on: August 23, 2008, 12:28:52 PM »
Here's another lovely comment made by an eBay seller:

ALL MATCHED EXQUISITE DIAMONDS ONLY THE BEST STEAL!

Do you think that was a Freudian slip?
 
Grin  Mikla
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